I think it's the inherent weirdness of what USA considers "salaried" job - it seems to me that you essentially don't have set hours, your pay isn't related to the hours you put in, and any overtime gets waived in programming by the overtime exempt rule.
If this sounds to you like shit sandwich, that's because it is one, even if some people manage to make it work with less hours than norm.
If this sounds to you like shit sandwich, that's because it is one, even if some people manage to make it work with less hours than norm.