> I typically spend a few minutes researching what they’ve been up to recently.
So this process isn’t for friends? I find this behavior personally strange. I’d rather get the information on what they’ve been up to from them directly, and the way I do that is to video call them on a weekend to catch up.
It really is impersonal in my opinion to learn about a friend via broadcast messages posted to social media.
As for the technique in the post, I do agree. Some regularity is needed. Every few weeks I call people via video and talk. Others I share photos about what I’ve done via Signal and ask how they’re doing.
I mean, I have a lot of friends who I don't live near who will periodically post pictures on Instagram or updates about their lives on FB. Scanning their feed for a few minutes if they're active on social media is a good way to make sure you're at least a little up-to-date on what's going on in their life, and will frequently give you a good hook for a conversation (i.e. how is little So-and-So?, or I saw your trip pictures, how was Wherever?). Also can help you avoid a faux pas. It's never fun to ask someone who just got divorced how their spouse is doing.
> It's never fun to ask someone who just got divorced how their spouse is doing.
Right, same for a lost pregnancy, but that’s not a subject to post to social media. Personally I would not advertise a divorce there either.
It’s only natural to expect someone to ask about such things because they’re not up to date, and I find that okay. The fact they’re asking even if I hadn’t told them is expected and makes me feel better they even asked.
I was in such a situation where I had to think about expecting “how is xyz” questions. Friends are genuinely asking. I don’t fault them not knowing what I didn’t tell them.
Edit:
Remember before social media? No similar method other than perhaps a website or email (90s) or simple telephone calls.
Or gossip! Gossip gets a bad rap, and it can certainly be toxic, but it was the only semi-reliable way to get info about some of this stuff back in the day. I know everyone moans about social media and the mediated self and whatnot, but I kinda like that you can tell people what's going on in your life in a broadcast form and they can follow you and it doesn't always have to be high-touch.
So this process isn’t for friends? I find this behavior personally strange. I’d rather get the information on what they’ve been up to from them directly, and the way I do that is to video call them on a weekend to catch up.
It really is impersonal in my opinion to learn about a friend via broadcast messages posted to social media.
As for the technique in the post, I do agree. Some regularity is needed. Every few weeks I call people via video and talk. Others I share photos about what I’ve done via Signal and ask how they’re doing.