There's value in having a straightforward language where you know what's going to happen at any given moment. It's not good for everyone (and -thing), but languages like these have to exist, and they're needed for good reasons.
If I call a closure, I know what's going to happen - the closure is going to get called. Unless you are talking about the virtual jump, in which case that ship has sailed because Odin has function pointers. This is an allergic reaction to anything more useful than C, not a real complaint.
